Monologues, Tea, Snails

Do you ever just talk to yourself? Because I do, and it’s weird, sure, but it’s good to get the thoughts… out. Like, there’s always — not always but most of the time, there are multiple thoughts at once inside people’s heads… I think. Are there? Well. So then when you say some of those out loud it’s like you’re choosing one to focus on and develop. I am so much more articulate when I’m talking to myself, I say, to myself. Out loud.

Ummm, yeah, Imma go ahead and break the vegetable theme for something far more relevant this week. Tea. What is up with that? I know all food and drink is really weird if you break it down and think of it, but who the hell thought, and please read in British English: “well, um, we have this boiled water here, you see, and we just thought… what if we throw a bunch of leaves in it?” (oh, very interesting Gregory, you may proceed with that experiment). And then you put milk in it? Why would you put water and milk together? You know what, don’t answer that, I’d rather not know. I — milk, why.

Snails. I’ve jumped topics to an animal who very sadly doesn’t jump, and, fun fact, has between 10 to 12 thousand teeth. Why watch horror movies when you can Google that. Snails are cute. Yes, I know it doesn’t sound as believable now, but from the scale we were made they are. If they were our size they’d be terrifying, but they’re not and so all they do is get out when it rains and stay in the sidewalks hoping they’re not crushed by muddy boots.

I saw a tree full of snails the other day, like all around it, the more I looked the more there were. Cute. Then again. 10 to 12 thousand teeth, I don’t care if they only eat lettuce.

Well, this is a bit long for 1 a.m. thoughts, but there you go. I sincerely hope you don’t remember the snails’ teeth before you go to sleep, think of giraffes instead, as the number of teeth doesn’t trick you. I think. I hope. I’ll see you next week, and thank you :))